Compeer Rochester, Inc.
Overall Experience
Volunteering as a Compeer mentor has been such a rewarding experience, I decided to make a career out of matching others!
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In the last 5 years, Compeer has given me the opportunity to form a very special friendship with a young person. This relationship has significantly influenced many of my life choices and goals. When I first met Marie in 1999, she was a shy 11-year old. By all outward appearances, we had little in common besides our gender. Neither of us would have imagined then how much our meeting and subsequent friendship would change us both.
I had just returned to college after marrying and starting a family. I had a lot on my plate between school, home, and part-time work as a server in a local restaurant but I felt a strong urge to become involved in the community, too. I did some research and chose to find out more about Compeer because I found the concept of utilizing friendship to ease the pain and loneliness of individuals with mental health issues extremely compelling. After talking with one of the volunteer coordinators, I decided to commit to volunteering with a young person in the program.
A short time later, I had completed the interview, screening and training process and was ready to choose the youth I would mentor. I heard descriptions of a few girls and then we got to Marie. I don't know exactly what it was, but something about the details of this young girl's circumstances really struck a chord with me. I let the coordinator know and, with her help, I scheduled a meeting with Marie's therapist and guardian.
Meeting the therapist was very helpful because I got to ask questions about recent developments in Marie's life, what her challenges and strengths were, and what the therapist thought would be most beneficial for Marie. We both felt comfortable moving forward with the match so we arranged for me to meet with Marie's adoptive mother. Our meeting also went well and helped us both better understand how the match would work- when I would be able to visit with Marie and for how long, what activities her mom approved of or discouraged, how we would deal with changes in the schedule, etc. Now that I had gone through all the preliminary steps, I was ready to meet Marie.
Our first few visits were a little awkward- as in most cases when one is getting to know somebody new- but after 2 or 3 months of regular visits, we had a pretty comfortable rapport. We visited museums, went to the zoo, had lunch, saw movies, hung out at my house, did crafts, listened to music, and talked about all sorts of things. We gradually learned about each other and discovered many common interests. Just like any friendship, ours has ups and downs but we've learned to ride them out together. And, like any friendship, it is the most basic and simple things that we've come to most appreciate about each other. Marie's not much of a talker when it comes to feelings, but each Christmas for the last three years, she's written me and my family a letter. This Christmas, her words brought me to tears in the middle of Friendly's; "...You really are my best friend in the world. You know those people I call friends, they aren't really my friends because I know they talk about me. But you don't talk about me- or only in a good way... I am so happy I have someone I can tell all my secrets to... If anybody would be a role model to me it would be you... Your son, your husband, and you are my true friends." I know that Marie will always be a part of my life and she knows that I will always be there for her. That is what friendship is all about.
The Compeer organization is a wonderful resource in our community because it celebrates and facilitates the power of friendship. I have been the beneficiary of that power and now, as a full time staff member, I seek to engage as many people as I can in volunteering to share their friendship with someone in need. I certainly didn't realize how completely this experience would transform my life but I am truly grateful that I made the call to become a Compeer volunteer.
posted by hughes1 on May 27, 2004 |
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